A sense of an ending

In February of 2013 I started writing a novel - an actual, linear, one narrator novel - for the first time since before I started college, because Ali Smith told me to. I didn't think I'd be able finish it, so I went for the first idea I had that seemed to have potential. And I thought trying to write something long would make the exercise worthwhile enough, so I decided to ignore everything professors had tried to hammer into me over the course of five years of higher education in favour of doing exactly what I wanted to do with it, because I was frankly sick of being told 'you can't.' It was probably the most well-behaved tantrum ever. By the end of January 2014 I had produced this:

The little tan one has notes and chronologies and things, because I learned my lesson with The Shore

 Which was a bit of a surprise, because I'd abandoned it several times over the course of the first draft. And then in September 2014 I managed to turn it into this:

It was only when I finished that I realised that this one has no death and hardly any graphic violence. 

Which was too embarrassingly horrible to show to anyone, and was almost chucked out in favour of any other novel I could be writing. But it was 93,500 words long, which is an awful lot of words to just throw away, so I figured that I could make another passthrough, cut all of the dreadful parts, and possibly come out the end with a novella.

Except on July 1st I finished the passthrough by writing a new ending that actually felt like an ending rather than an arbitrary stopping point and found that, despite the fact that I had cut about five thousand words outright and moved another five thousands to a file called 'darlings' that will never see light of day, the whole thing had grown to just over a hundred thousand words, which lands it pretty solidly in 'novel' territory. And, mysteriously, I felt like it was as done as I could get it without external input.

So that's one of the two novels I need to write this summer finished, or as finished as I can get it, and sent off to Lucy to see if these bones might live. And even though I still have a horrifying amount of work to do, I have the strangest feeling that I've actually gotten something done.

And now to finished book number three!